• Jason McCarty

Fear




There is not much else that gets in the way of what we want other than FEAR. Fear can be debilitating, exhausting, and down right aggravating. Many people do not usually understand what is keeping them from the things they want in life. Most of the time, it is some aspect of fear.

With respect to relationships we fear not being accepted, not living up to one’s expectations, fear of actually being known. We want to be known, it is a natural human tendency, but the fear of possible rejection for some is too much. We might not feel this in all relationships but most of us feel some aspect of fear when it comes to relations with other human beings.

With respect to our dreams and aspirations, the only real thing that ever gets in the way is fear. Yes, it is really that simple. We will come up with all sorts of excuses or long drawn out reasons why we can’t move forward with our dreams, but if one were to really be honest with themselves it is only fear keeping them bound and hidden.

The craziest thing about fear is that when we operate from it we bring about the very thing we are afraid of. If I am afraid that my partner might cheat on me, I might operate in acts of jealousy that push them away, bringing more insecurity and possible betrayal. If I am afraid of failure or success, I might never give my best, therefore, never measuring up to what is needed to succeed, feeling like a failure. Think of the hesitant and fearful driver who ends up crashing only because their fear got in the way of driving confidently and calmly. If you let fear dictate your life, then your negative expectations will come true.

What do we do then? Feel the fear and do it anyway. That is the title of a book written in 1988 by Susan Jeffers. It is hard to come to this and actually do it. It is hard to feel the fear and not stop. But when we do, we realize that fear is only an emotion and not reality. We begin to listen beneath the fear, to the call of our souls. The fear is an annoying distraction that does not originate from YOU, so ignoring it will only benefit you. Your own good sense and reasonableness will tell you when you really shouldn’t do something – it will become clear. But when you do not follow through with love, career, or aspirations because of fear, then you are being duped by a lie and will only suffer a greater pain than the fear was portraying.

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© 2020 by Jason McCarty, MA, CCC